We all need therapy. My therapy is coaching children’s sports. I’ve coached both girl’s and boy’s soccer. My total experience in playing soccer is spring leagues in high school. I was by no means the best soccer player out there; however, I had the sheer will to make thing happen.
If you get the chance, I recommend coaching girl’s sports- you will learn more about yourself and your ability to motivate others than any training you can take. WHY GIRL’S SPORTS? I found that some boys are forced to play sports by their parents. They have no desire to be there, and little desire to get better. Girl’s on the other hand join sports because they want to be there. Some join because their friend’s are playing, some join because they love to play, and some join because they love to win. The key is they love. If only co-workers came to work for the same love of the game . . .
Here are the top five things I learned that can be applied to business:
1) SHOW THEM DON’T TELL THEM
Actually my brother sent me this about ten years ago when he was coaching girl’s sports. Too many times we tell people what we want them to do but we lose it in the translation. Last fall, the third grade girl’s soccer team THE BEDFORD SHARKS lost a game 8-1, I was beside myself because none of the Sharks were chasing down the other team when they got the ball. Dozens of times, the other team came in from the right with two players and the defensive Bedford Sharks player on the left would not come over to help. After the game was over, I asked my daughter why she wouldn’t come over and help. She told me, “You said my job was to defend this side of the field and I did.” Well, she did exactly what I told her to do.
2) IF IT AIN’T WORKING- FIX IT
Well coach, you taught them the wrong way to play soccer. . . I forgot that this was their first time they had played soccer competitively. They didn’t know the big picture. They didn’t know strategy. They knew that they loved to play soccer, they loved playing with their friends, and a few loved to win. Well, that’s a lie. They loved to score, they didn’t love to win or lose. I loved to win. You can’t teach someone to win, but you can find what they love to do and show them what to do so that they end up winning. So the rules of the game changed: Players on the back line – you’re job is to get the ball over the midline has fast as possible. Players on the front line – you’re job is to get the ball in the net as fast as possible. With this new mission statement, I was able to show the players on the back line how to work together to get the ball over the midline and how to get the front line to score.
3) GO WITH THE FLOW
The team only won 2 games the whole season. It was the most successful season I’ve ever had. What were the real goals of third grade girl’s soccer? Teach them teamwork. Teach them to score. Teach them to stop the other team from scoring. Teach them soccer skills. Well actually that is a lie too. The real goals??? Have them learn teamwork. Have them learn to score. Have them learn how to stop the other team from scoring. Have them learn soccer skills. Have you ever tried to teach someone a skill and they just don’t get it? That is kid’s sports. During practice we played a lot of games that required them to use soccer skills and figure out strategy . . . Sounds like business training. Some of the games worked well some failed miserably. The games that worked we did every other practice. Those that failed, well as a coach you want to try new things and new motivation. Some just don’t work. If it isn’t working- move on. Remember what motivates your team. When these girl’s were in first grade I told them about my father. He is retired a Coast Guard helicopter search and rescue pilot. I told the girls they were now rescue pilots. I had them start behind one goal post. I stood on the sidelines of midfield and kicked their balls out onto the field. Their job was to find their own ball and take it all the way down the field to the other goal which was the hospital. The game transformed into “SAVE THE BABIES”. We played this game a half dozen times before I forced them to take a break. And they were mad I made them take a break. Now the traditional coach would have told the team that we are running sprints, and everyone is going to sprint the whole field 6 times. I had accidentally tapped into the LOVE OF BABIES as a motivator. In third grade, this is still one of their favorite games. The parents are amazed that I can get the girl’s to sprint the whole field because they want to.
4) IT’S MORE THAN THE TEAMMATES
In sales, we always want to get to the decision maker who can cut the check and buy our product. We forget that there are influencers who can kill a sale. In sports, they are called parents. Every teammate needs a ride to practice. This team was also motivated by love of parent. At the end of every practice the girls would have a scrimmage for about a half hour. If they had a good practice, they got the ultimate prize- a scrimmage against the parents. Now we had parents with mad skills, parents with no skills, brother and sisters who played soccer. I’d bring the influencers out onto the field. To make the game fair, I would come up with rules to handicap the “OLD SHARKS” – only one touch on the ball, no running (only walking), you have to hold hands with a teammate, etc. By the end of the season, I had all the parents showing up a half hour before the end of practice so they wouldn’t miss the scrimmage. The last couple of practices were in the New England cold of late October, sometimes it drizzled. And still the whole team would show up. Everyone wanted to show up – for the love of soccer, for the love of friends, for the love of well- family.
5) THERAPY
Have you ever seen a team lose by 2 goals and they think it is a greatest day ever? That’s girl’s soccer. Win or lose the team ran off the field, lined up to shake hands, and then gathered to talk about what we wanted to work on during practice. The girls were telling the coach what they wanted to work on! Who doesn’t want to be part of a team like that? At the beginning of the season, these girls didn’t know the left side of the field from the right*. They had never played team passing soccer. They lost the first 4 games by 6 or more goals each. The spirit of “wanting to get better” never diminished. Who doesn’t want to be on a team like that? Because you know what? That’s what makes a winning team.
*When the team switches sides at half time, the girls didn’t know that left and right now apply to the other side of the field.
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